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When a character ’s Christmas special include the Good Book paramilitary , someone could take an educated guess and assume it’sLobo ’s . When that story require a drunken Easter Bunnylooking for a mercenaryto take out Santa Claus , you could be sure . That sort of lunacy is precisely what fans got in 1992’sLobo Paramilitary Christmas Special , which found the deadliest mercenary in the DC Universe squaring off with a definitely less than Jolly Old Saint Nick .
Lobo is summoned to a bar , where they find their guest , theactualEaster Bunny . And he ’s already three sheets to the wind . The slur hare is representing a grouping of vacation picture who are concerned Santa has overshadowed them and is direct attention away from their particular day . Admitting he was never too fond of Christmas anyway , Lobo takes the dealand is on his cosmic motorcycle and headed flat to the North Pole .
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But it work out this is n’t the smile , Coca - Cola sipping Santa Lobo is divvy up with . Instead , this is Kris " Crusher " Kringle , a brutal potentate that rules over his elves with an branding iron fist . The elves , by the way , are only small due to Kringle ’s knowing malnutrition and get just one break a year . Santa has been a frequent target of Amnesty International and only manages to quell in the world ’s favor with his once yearly dear human action . As is to be expect with Lobo , it does n’t take long for the carnage to begin .
After liquidize the precaution elves ' point with a sniper rifle , Lobo makes his way into the workshop . As alarm clock blare , one extremely low frequency has the others take defensive positions , tell " the naughty - est one has come . " An downright thrashing ensues , with the elves give nothing but pop guns to protect themselves , it does n’t take long for Lobo to cut down through them all , go forth a voltaic pile of diminutive corpses in his viewing . But he makes his way to the bossman ’s office , Father Christmas plough out to be no picnic .
The two engage in an absolutely brutal knife competitiveness that is definitely not for the squeamish - or for anyone who does n’t require to see Santa Claus ultimately decapitate and missing an eyeball . search the ease of the shop , Lobo finds Santa ’s Naughty and Nice lists and sees an chance . The nice can be succeeding prey , while the naughty might make for future competition . Lobo converts the workshop into a artillery manufacturing plant , and , after killing Rudolph for refusing to help ( yes , really),the Main Manloads up Santa ’s sleigh with a stockpile of bombs before taking flight and raining fire from the skies .
So yeah . Anyone looking forIt ’s a Wonderful Lifeneeds to witness a different Christian Bible . But for those more interested in a rakehell - soaked , insane , gratuitously violent Christmas narrative , theLobo Paramilitary Christmas Specialis the book to put down on your compliments list . As Lobo says in the final panel , declare oneself a middle finger to reader , " Ho Ho Fraggin ' Ho ! "
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